Don’t Try So Hard

College Football O-Fee-Shul-E opens up tomorrow. My sources tell me there were actually a few games last night, but those don’t count. And tooo-nite Washington plays Syracuse in an epic intercontinental match. And by Epic, i mean boring. And by boring I mean no one gives a fuck. And by no one i mean no one except yours truly who is always game for a sucker bet……Washington +3 here I come. Pac-10 4 Lyfe.

Back to the point. College Football officially opens up tomorrow. Other than Tennessee @ Cal there really aren’t any mouthwatering matchups. Unless you make a bet, which I must say, definitely adds to the intrigue of a matchup between Middle Tennessee St. and Florida Atlantic.

Oklahoma St. @ Georgia and Georgia Tech @ Notre Dame are both solid matchups, but thats cuz everything else blows such ass. But who cares, CFB is a go which means I get to stop losing money on NFL Preseason games as I watch a 4th string TE fumble away my money on the game winning drive. Fucking cunt.

Onto the picks:

UCLA -17 @ Stanford – Stanford is terrible. UCLA is awesome. Easy enough….

Georgia Tech @ Notre Dame UNDER 45 – Gtech will probably take this outright. Charlie Weiss will go from Genius Fatass to simply Fatass this eason.

Tennesse @ Cal -6.5 & OVER 54.5 –Hippies are the suck but these hippies are fast and well coached. Cal is gonna put 40 up on the vaunted SEC defense.

Idaho @ souther cal UNDER 58.5 – 40-fucking-6?!? I know Idaho’s QB is starting his first game and that sc’s being hyped up to be gods gift to football, but god damn. Unless sc’s D scores multiple touchdowns, that offense will struggle (relative term) to cover 46.  I still think Idaho covers but thats cuz I fucking hate sc. The under should hit considering Idaho will be lucky to put up a field goal.

OKState +6 @ Georgia -Big 12 sucks but OkState has some thugs on their team that should put up a fight. Bobby Ried is a baller and hopefully won’t have whitey cutting into his time at QB.

Western Michigan @ West Virginia -23.5 -West Virginia’s offense isn’t bad.

I’m sure at some point she’s going to make a movie that doesn’t suck complete and total ass (note to Alba – making a movie with Dane Cook is not a wise career choice)…….but in the meantime she can just look hot, cuz lets face it, thats the only thing that matters if a bitch wants to stay famous……….(the other choice is to go completely bat-shit insane….i.e. britney spears)……

http://wwtdd.com/post.phtml?pk=2807

People claim they’re not good for you, but as the pictures below prove, those people must be mistaken.
Even if the claims that cigarrettes cause cancer turn out to be true (I remain skeptical), all I know is that Allessandra is all about them so all you anti-cig hippies can go F yourselves.

http://www.doubleviking.com/international-babe-of-the-day-alessandra-ambrosio-6369-p.html

So Hardknocks premiered last week (second episode will air t00-nite) and like everything else on HBO, i ate it up. But really, you can’t go wrong with Football and you can’t go wrong with HBO. See where I’m going with this?

I kind of wish it was possible to take any aight show and put it through an HBO machine to make it uber awesome. Take “Las Vegas” for example. Semi-retarded entertaining show that has a couple dimes and ridiculous plot lines. Put it on HBO and it might just jump inot the Pantheon of television shows. HBO + Vegas = Too Good to be True.

Back to Hardknocks…..two moments stood out. One was Brody Croyle’s wife…………………gah dam.

http://arrowheadaddict.com/2007/08/14/the-kellie-croyle-files/ (the southernbell accent is a plus)

and the other part was a dance by Bernard Pollard that can be seen Here

considering the hairstyle and outfit I’m pretty confident in determining she definitely deserved it.

The clip reminds me of that time your mom and I made a strawberry shortcake together. Good times.

And this clip has nothing to do with anything, its just really fucking cool kinda cool. I think things seem a lot cooler when you’re bored at work. Its a theory im working on.

And by Most I mean Least.

Having attended the past couple Raider Charger games in SD, the honest truth is that by the second half the most interesting thing going on are the fights breaking out across the stadium.

Gotta feel for the Raider fans. SD has LT as the face of their franchise and Raider Nation is stuck with Al Davis leading the way. Something about that doesn’t seem fair. vs.

And when your team is down 35-7 and you’re facing an 8 hour trip back up to the Bay Area theres really no other option other than to start throwing haymakers at the Bandwagoning Douches talking shit.

Calling SD fans bandwagoners is like calling Britney a dumb slut or the Sun hot. Its not wrong, just severely understated. 5 years ago Raider fans outnumbered Charger fans at Qualcom 2 -1. Now that the Chargers are good, every San Diegan and their Mom has picked up a PowderBlue LT Jersey……..which btw is the tits.