Lindsay Lohan has been awarded the top spot on Maxim’s Hottest 100 list.

She finished ahead of Jessica Alba, Angelina Jolie and Scarlett Johansson and many many more. Basically every girl in the world. Try to wrap your brain around that for a second.

Drew Barrymore getting awarded “Most Beautiful Person” by People is one thing. People Magazine is for ugly and old people so they can’t give credit to legitimate “beautiful” people since that would make their readers feel like shit. So People gets a pass.

Maxim on the other hand has no excuse. What blind retarded monkey decided it would make sense to give Lohan the #1 spot. There are about 10,000 Regular Women in LA hotter than Lohan. So obviously #1 on a list which encompasses practically all of hollywood is a bit of a reach.

So according to Maxim this

is hotter than this

and this

and finally this

I better convert to “Jesus-is-my-Savior” real quick cuz the apocolypse is obviously on its way.